Kyle Hepp

February 27, 2009

S. said to me the other day, “Wow. You’ve changed a lot.”

At first I though he meant that I had turned into a cranky old biddy or something and we were about to have that retardedly stereotypical fight where the husband tells the wife she’s not the same anymore and the wife tells the husband that he’s not romantic anymore, and it all ends in smoke and tears.

But he meant that I looked different than I did when we first started dating. His exact quote to explain himself was, “I mean, look at my face. I’ve had the same face since I was 12. You haven’t.” Which is true. In part, I’m sure, because of my weight loss, I definitely look a lot different than I did back in the day.

The whole thing had me searching through old photos taking a trip down memory lane. My options are limited though since most of my old pics are on film and I don’t have them on my computer. Here’s what I found.

Life started out pretty well. I was a cute baby with a really hot mom:

And my dad may have been rocking the porn ‘stache, but he was still a pretty handsome guy.

We liked to fish…

We lived on a lake. Everything was good…

…until my mom gave me a mullet and bangs.

And then a curly bowl cut.

A few years later I started getting a little chubbier than most of the other kids my age.

Fortunately, I was still too young to care.

I was good at sports even though I was “big boned,” or “super muscular” or whatever form of the word BIG people chose to use for me.

When I went to Chile, people always commented on my weight, because well, people here are really rude about that sort of thing. I still wasn’t phased. I was blond and that was enough for all the guys in my class here to want to kiss me.

By the time I was a sophomore in high school I was much fatter than my mom and my weight sort of bothered me.

But, I really never felt bad about myself.

I’ve always had a huge ego. Nothing can bring me down, not even stomach rolls and thunder thighs.

UGH. Band camp = LOVE. You can call me a nerd all you want but I have some of the most fun memories.

I gained even more weight in college. And as you can see, I had super curly hair up until recently. It always looked like this unless I straightened it.

And then I started running like a maniac on the track every night. Losing weight completely changed my identity and I started feeling like a bad ass. I dyed my hair red, got my nose and belly button pierced, and got a tattoo.

But even though I was hot I still never had sex with anyone.

Oddly enough, around the time I started having sex with S. my hair started getting straighter. I’m not saying this to give you TMI. I just think there’s some kind of hormonal connection there.

I maintained my 50 pound weight loss until I got married and then I lost 10 more pounds just for the heck of it. This is me on the week of my wedding when I weighed about 125 lbs, my lowest adult weight ever.

Since all my super hot besties were coming to the wedding I had to look good!

Now here’s me. I weigh 132, but ever since I got married my face just keeps getting more and more angular, no matter what I weigh, and my hair keeps getting straighter. When I look in the mirror sometimes I can’t even recognize the person who stares back.

S. is right. I have changed a lot.

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February 25, 2009

I did a survey on this blog a few months ago. Ok, actually it was more than six months ago. And I promised to do some Photoshop tutorials for those of you who asked for photography tips. In August, I wrote that starting next week I would do a weekly tutorial. Oops!

But, better late than never! The first tutorial on better, brighter, more vivid color for your pictures by editing in Lab Mode in Photoshop is up at my Kyle Hepp Photography blog. If you’re not into photography this probably isn’t interesting to you at all. But if you are into photography and photo editing, will you let me know if the tutorial helped you in any way shape or form? I’m a little nervous about posting it as I’m not much of a Photoshop guru and I also don’t know that I’m very good at explaining technical photography information. But hopefully this helps someone out there!

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February 24, 2009

I apologized to my doorman and it really wasn’t a big deal at all. As soon as I said, “I’m sorry,” the very second that those two powerful little words crossed my lips, a smile lit up his face and we were BFF’s again.

In the end, I decided that most of you were right. This is Chile. I’m the only person in the country who normally doesn’t break rules all the time. I don’t litter. I don’t chuck my trash out the window onto the street below. I don’t even cross the fucking yellow line on the metro and I ALWAYS dejar bajar antes de subir. I follow the rules. I’m a good girl.

Which means, I always say I’m sorry, even if I’m not 100% in the wrong.

I wavered back and forth on this after reading all of your responses. Yes, it’s true. I’m easily swayed by blog readers, many of whom I don’t even know in real life. But y’all are good people. You’re putting Marcelo through college with me. I don’t doubt your morals.

In the end, I decided that the situation really didn’t require any baking or gift buying on my part. And I stopped feeling so damn guilty that an apology would have been nothing more than just an unburdening of my conscious. What I did realize is that really Don Jose just wants validation that his job matters. That’s why he tried to enforce the rules. I get that. We all want to feel like the work we do is important.

So I apologized. I didn’t even have to explain myself or anything, and immediately all was forgiven. I believe his exact words were, “I understand, it was your birthday, she’s your best friend and yeah. You had drank a LOT.”

Saying those words almost always makes me feel better even when nothing is my fault. For instance, if S. and I are bickering, I used to have a huge problem swallowing my pride long enough to apologize. But, now I realize I’d rather not waste time having people in this world have anger towards me, even for a misunderstanding. So I say, “I’m sorry I’m angry with you right now, this is silly. Let’s not fight.” And that line works with virtually anyone. You don’t have to be sorry for whatever the other person thinks you did — just sorry enough that the other person is unhappy that you’re willing to put your pride aside and say those two little words.

I wasn’t sorry that I brought Papito downstairs with me to my birthday party. In fact, I’d do it again in a heartbeat even if I didn’t know whether or not Don Jose would eventually forgive me. But, I was sorry for making Don Jose feel like his job was unimportant enough to me that I would just pasar sus reglas por la raja (loosely translated, shove his rules up my ass, I can’t think of a good translation right now, sorry). So, Papito sat on my lap at my birthday party, and then Don Jose forgave. Yes, all is right in the world again.

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